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Dec 26, 2008

Oct 30, 2008


Kapag walang magawa!

Oct 19, 2008

Oct 5, 2008

Sep 8, 2008

Sep 3, 2008

Sep 1, 2008

Aug 18, 2008

The Author! LoL




The Author... :P lol

Aug 5, 2008

Hammer Ruler

Some good things never last

It's three in the morning
You're nowhere in sight
And all that I wanted was
To be with you tonight
I've watched love get closer
And then fade away
I've seen you believe in me
I've seen you try to stay

But what good is holdin' on
When you know that all you
Can think about is letting go
They say if you love someone
Then set them free
If they come back again
Then in the end it was meant to be

I thought we were lovers
I thought we were friends
I guess when reality steps in
The dreaming ends
We live for the future
We learn from the past
No matter how hard we try
Some good things never last
And all you can think about is letting go
Be true to yourself my love
That's all I ever wanted you to be
Just don't forget to smile
When you think of me

I reached for the stars
I have got them in sight
There's someone who really needs me
Out there in the night
We live for the future
We will learn from the past
No matter how hard we try
Some good things never last
Why can't they last?

Jul 31, 2008

Jul 30, 2008

ART

Jul 29, 2008

ITS ABOUT YOU!

Jul 21, 2008

Never ending gas price hike

Complicated Relationship

Story


Dear Joe,

Hi!How are you? It's been a long, long time since the first time i wrote you. I'm not even sure if you will still remember me. But as far as my memory serves me right, you had my letter aired on your show April of 1994. I think i better refresh your mind by giving you the name i used on that letter. I am Michelle Santiago, now 25 years of age and presently managing my own business. I wrote again to say "thank you" for the time you gave me before and "Congratulations" for keeping up a good show. Joe, i'm seeking your advice again for all these fears i'm having right now that are locking me up in my own shell. The advice you gave on my last letter was a big help 'coz when Lawrence came back to me, i was able to handle things the way they should be. Yes,Joe, i accepted him again, gave him another chance because that's what my heart dictated. I was just being honest with my feelings that time and simply took the risk 'coz that's what love is, after all. It's simply a gamble wherein you either win or lose. And part of that game called love, is believing. So, when he left for the States last July of 1994, i believed in all his promises that he's going to come back for me after 3 or 4 years. Everybody especially my family were against our relationship 'coz they kept on saying that the time frame for long distance relationships to survive is only 6 months for unmarried couples. Anything more than that would be a burden, a heavy crucifix i will carry on my shoulder. I chose to be deaf to all that i've been hearing and with my own effort, my faith to the Lord above and my love for Lawrence, i decided that i will prove them wrong and that our relationship will survive all obstacles, not to mention, infidelity, 'coz it does and can happen. But everything went on smoothly with us especially on the first year that we're apart. Lawrence had promised that he's going to marry me when he comes back but it will take him 2 or 3 years to establish his citizenship before he can return. It will take me 2-3 years to wait for his return so i thought of starting to look for a job, try to save some money for our future so that it will be easier for us to start our life together in the land of milk and honey. During that time, maybe luck was on my side 'coz in my search for greener pastures, there came the offer for me from a larger construction company in Japan. I was really happy that time 'coz i believe that in a span of 3 years of working in another country, i'll be able to save enough money, maybe more than enough to start a married life. Lawrence also agreed on the idea of me working abroad 'coz he believed that it would be of great help for both of us and our will-be children. So, i left November of '95 for a 3-year contract to work out of the country. Joe, it was really a struggle 'coz it's the first time that i've been away from my family and i don't think i'll be able to survive the loneliness of being alone and the fear of being in a place full of strangers. But i firmly held on to myself and set my mind that everything i'm doing is for me, for Lawrence and for our future. His phone calls and letters helped me survive those struggles.

But it was on my 2nd year of working there that everything changed. He suddenly became cold, stopped calling and writing me. I just passed it off 'coz he told me that he's having 2 jobs that time. But everything became clear to me when he decided April of '97 to cool it off with me. He told me that he can no longer fulfill my expectations towards him because of the pressures and demands of his jobs there. I asked him if there's another party but he said none. He said he still loves me but he needs space and time and that if we're meant for each other, no matter what, we will still meet again. I was in the lowest point of my life that time 'coz i had nowhere to turn to and i can't go back to the Phils. 'coz that would be breach of contract. I can't even seek for my family and friends' help 'coz they have been against our relationship from the start. It was at this time that i received an unexpected letter from a long, lost acquaintance here in the Phils. He was
the guy who introduced himself to me while i was doing my thesis at the National Library during my 4th year in college. Let's just call him Gerry, now in his mid-30's, presently working as a newscaster, TV host and Radio commentator in one of our famous TV stations here. During our acquaintance which was 6 years ago, he asked for my number and we talked for a couple of times and then he just disappeared for no reason at all. I just shrugged it off thinking he's just one of those guys. But i learned from his letter that he got a very demanding job, he also moved to another house, got his things jumbled-up and he got it fixed, i was gone. Maybe Gery's letter was a real saving grace for me 'coz it was when i needed a friend the most, someone who would listen, there he came at the right time. He really extended a helping hand across the seas. I confided in him my problems regarding Lawrence and he did all he can to give his unbiased thoughts and advices. It really made my burdens lighter when i receive letters and calls from Gerry. He really took time despite of his demanding job to write and call me to ease the pain i'm feeling that time. Lawrence was then avoiding my calls whenever i tried to call him up. I was not yet giving up on the idea that Lawrence still loves me and that everything will go smoothly again in the future. I kept myself believing that if there's only a chance for us to see each other, everything will be back to normal 'coz i realized that time that no matter how strong your love is to each other, physical presence really counts.

It's true that "absence makes the heart grow fonder", but this is true only for short absences 'coz long absences also makes the heart forget and sometimes reluctant. But i was able to survive my 3rd year of work there with the routine of me writing and calling up Lawrence but receiving no response at all and me and Gerry trying to create a link that connects us between the seas. It was this May of '98 that i learned from Lawrence's relatives here in the Phils. that Lawrence is planning to go home for a vacation. I was able to talk to him on the phone but he didn't tell me of his plans of vacationing in the Phils. I was hurt again that time 'coz i don't see any reasons why he has to hide his plans of going back to the Philippines. So, i decide to myself that i need to go home and see him 'coz now's the chance for me to clear up things between us. If he really had a change of plans, i deserve an explanation and if we're really not meant for each other, at least, i deserve a decent break-up. So, i begged for permission from my company to allow me to go home with the lie i made up that i have some medical problems. They allowed provided i'll shoulder my airfare and i had to pay some penalties because i still have 6 months to work. So, without Lawrence's knowledge and Gerry's too, i came home last 11th of May. Lawrence was already here 'coz he arrived one day earlier. I decided to see Lawrence on the 12th and true to my words, it really brought back the old feelings between the two of us. It seemed as if we've never been separated for 4 years. I thought marriage plans will push through this time but i was shocked when i learned from Lawrence's relatives that there was another girl. Lawrence's relatives want us to get married before Lawrence leaves for the States again because they don't want Lawrence to end up with that girl in the States who is actually married, has 2 kids and 34 years of age. I confronted Lawrence about it and he admitted that he loves the girl but he loves me more. I didn't buy the idea,joe and i decided not to marry him.

He has left for the States last May 30 and during his departure, i made it clear that there will be no more Michelle waiting for him and that it's better if we just both move on with our lives. It was again one of the saddest times of my life and only then did i remember to call up Gerry to break him the news that i've already arrived. He was surprised 'coz he was expecting me to come home by November. I told him what happened, the marriage plans, the other party and that i've already put an end to my relationship with Lawrence. Gerry played again the role of a best friend, adviser and a brother to me, giving words of consolation, cheering me up and making me feel i'm not alone. I could never imagine how it would be for me
to go through this stage without Gerry's help. He always visits me at home, calls me up regularly and he really helped me forget my miseries. And he's starting to express his feelings towards me, saying here's here to mend my broken heart. I was beginning to like him,too, but it was then that i realized that i never knew him that well. Yes, we've been open to each other about our moods, characters and feelings,and i've open to him,too, from the start. So i began asking him about his personal life. It was then that i knew that he comes from a very rich family, his father held a high position in the government before. And regarding his previous relationships with women, he's been involved with big stars both in showbiz and modelling world. I asked him why he's not married yet and he told me that he doesn't have any plans yet. I tried believing everything he said but i really don't know why i still have reservations and hesitations towards him. Maybe my mind can't absorb the idea that a man of such power and wealth, can fall in love with someone like me. You know,Joe, i am a very simple person with simple dreams, simple hopes and simple wishes. And you know for a fact how people in the high society live their lives and i don't want to belong there. And i've actually opened up these things to him (about the hesitations) and he told me that i shouldn't be bothered by those things because what he has shown me was the real him, with no pretentions at all. But i told him that he should have told me those things before hand but still, he defended himself saying that he doesn't want those things to be my basis in deciding what our relationship will be in the future. He said that if i don't want him, it's only because i don't have that special feeling and need towards him and not because he's a man of power and wealth. Maybe he's right after all, maybe it's like entering a house thru the backdoor. I know i'm beginning to fall for Gerry 'coz of all the men who's courting me, it's only towards Gerry that i've felt this kind of feeling of longingness. The last time i've felt this feeling was towards Lawrence and i am starting to feel it towards Gerry,too. I have never been involved with any other guy since Lawrence left for the States for the first time and even when i was out of the country, i was able to survive the temptations. And when i became
aware of my feelings towards Gerry, i also realized that i was not in love with Lawrence anymore. Maybe all i needed was to feel that same feeling again to be able to realize that i wasn't in love with Lawrence anymore.
Guess it's true after all, that to forget a lost love, you must get another love. And i'm really thankful that with Gerry's help, i was able to let go of Lawrence. Gerry knows all the hardships i've been through with Lawrence, the abandonment when i got pregnant, the sacrifices i've made for Lawrence, and all the pains that i've been through but he said he's willing to help me go through and forget these traumas. I'd be untrue to myself if i'll say that i did not believe what he said, but i still don't feel that assurance. No matter how he tries to convince me of his feelings and intentions towards me, i still have these hidden reservations. Joe, i really tried to give him the benefit of my unbiased doubts but there's always something inside me that tells me there's something about him that i should know. So, i decided to discover by myself about things which i'm not even sure what. To make the long story short, i tried finding out one of his nephew's telephone number, succeeded in befriending him without his nephew's knowledge that i know his Uncle so well. It was then that i found out that he's been married for six years. His nephew told me that his Uncle's marriage is now on the rocks 'coz Gerry's wife can't bear a child but that doesn't justify Gerry's reason for looking for another girl and for wanting to have a child with me. Yes,Joe, he wants to have a child with me and i must admit i'm beginning to give in to that idea and it's a good thing that i followed my instincts first. But why me, Joe? I can't find the right words to describe how i'm hurting right now not only because of the deception but because i've trusted Gerry so much and his one of the few persons who knows how much i've been hurt before and he's the last person i've expected to hurt me. Joe, why are all these things happening to me? I feel so alone right now. I really feel like i'm going to give up. I don't even know now if i'll be able to trust and love somebody again after all i've been through. Right now, i'm trying to go through all of these by myself, every night has been a sleepless night for me. Gerry doesn't even know that i've known his secret 'coz i've been avoiding his call 'coz i really don't know how to tell him without breaking down.

Joe, please help me. All i ever wanted is a simple relationship with a simple guy. Why am i being deprived of these? I know there is a light for those who patiently search, and i'm asking you to help me see this light. Again, thank you for your time. More power to your show and God Bless!

Michelle


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Joes Notes


Dear Michelle,

There comes a moment in our lives when we feel so alone. Times when there seems to be no one we could turn to, no shoulder to lay our heads upon. Michelle, we will go through the lowest and most depressing times of our lives. Love that should have helped us get by turns out the very same emotion that will bring us down to our bare senses.

You have held on so strongly to a feeling that you hoped will last you your lifetime but just as when you thought you’re going to have it all, love suddenly decided to leave you. I have had my own share of a long distance affair. And I was one of those blessed to have found love again. But, many others have not been so lucky. For a handful of reasons, I would still have my reservations in getting into the same boat again. If There could be a sensible and practical alternative, I would rather have love within reach than let it be taken away by distance and time.

Michelle, Laurence never wanted to hurt you but he was tempted to get into a relationship outside your knowledge because his love for you was overpowered by his own needs. We all could make up an acceptable justification for the wrong we do but what is wrong cannot be right and hurting others for our own gain doesn’t come close to the definition of what love really is. You cannot blame him for giving up. He was just human., like all of us, capable of making mistakes and hurting even those we love. Let him live his own life and get on with yours.

Like rain from heaven on a dry desert, Gerry came and brought color back in your dull and bitter world. But this knight in shining armor turned out to be a thief in the night. He was dressed in royalty but most of what he truly s lie hidden in the back of his dark secrets. Michelle, like Laurence, Gerry probably never wanted to hurt you. He never told you he was married because he was afraid that would spoil his chance of being closer to you. He finally got to you but he stands a great chance of losing everything now that you found out that he was really never the Gerry that he wanted you to know. I don’t see anything wrong in telling him even if you have to break down in tears. He probably knows you have already fallen for him anyway. At least you have a good excuse in avoiding him. I’m sure you would never want to get in the way of an ailing marriage and become the reason for its fall. Again you just have to let him live his own life and get on with yours.

Now, you’re all by yourself, longing for answer, drifting in loneliness and hurting in love. The light at the end of the tunnel may not appear as soon as you want it but you just have to believe that it will. Whatever it is that happens in our lives happen for a purpose. Even if the whole world has fallen on us, God will never forsake us. He will never leave us even if everyone is hurrying for his own way out. You have met men who have changed your life. Who you haven’t met is the man who will be your life. Believe me, he is out there, just like you, waiting for his chance. Don’t let pain stop you from moving on. Forgive Laurence and Gerry for all that they have done to hurt you and pray for their happiness as well. Only when you give your heart this chance you will find peace, love and happiness in your own God-given time.


Joe

Another dneero celebrity survey

DIFFERENT CHOICES, DIFFERENT VIEWS

Dear Joe,

I have listened to your program whenever I can. I really like listening to the stories that people share. Also, I would like to congratulate you on the album that you released. The selections are really very nice.

For the past several months I have thought of writing you a letter but could not find the words to express what's inside me. First of all, allow me to introduce myself. I am 28 years of age, presently working in a hospital in Makati, the youngest of 2 children . I come from an upper middle-class family. My father is someone who believes in the old-fashioned ways of courtship. He is a very conservative man and tends to be close-minded when it comes to new ideas. He is the type of person who doesn't get mad very easily but when he does, he really gets mad. Basically, we have the same personality. My mother is also somewhat conservative but is open-minded. I have an adopted sister, aged 4. Our family is not that close to each. My relationship with my parents is one wherein I tell them only what they want to hear. I have lived my life doing everything they want.

My story began when I started working in the hospital I am presently in. A few weeks after I started, I met a Darwin. He really made me happy. Darwin 2 years younger than me and the eldest of 3 children. He comes from a middle-class family but unlike my mom and dad , his parents are very reasonable and open-minded. He worked in the same hospital but we had different professions. (I am a doctor and he is a nurse.) He was really someone very thoughtful and nice. He was a gentleman, too. We started going out and soon became good friends . After awhile we fell for each other. I had a boyfriend then but there was just something about him that told me he was the person I was looking for. So, I broke up with my boyfriend. Darwin and I had no formal courtship. We just felt right for each other.

Since he had no car, we use my car everytime we would go out. He would pay for the gas instead of us taking a taxi. There were also times I offered him to use my car. Whenever we had the same schedule, we

would go home together. He would drive the car up to our place and then he would commute going home. He did not want me driving alone at night, especially if I am very tired. He really looked out for me, Joe.

During this time, he was able to meet my parents. He would greet them everytime he came to the house. Little did I know something was about to happen. It was Christmas of 1998, I brought him along to our family reunion. We arrived together when I found my mom crying and my dad so mad. We had a discussion, my mom and I. She told me that they found out I was letting Darwin use my car without them knowing. That was when I learned that they did not approve of him. My dad accused him of being a guy who was out to fool me. He did not trust him. He said he did not have enough respect and delicadeza. He said he was just after the things I had, especially my car. It really hurt hearing those things. I tried to explain to them. I tried to defend Darwin. But still they would not listen.

My dad stopped talking to me saying he did not want anything to do with me as long as Darwin was around. My relationship with my mother also suffered. It came to a point where my dad asked me to choose between him and Darwin. I could not make a choice so I decided to just get out of the house. I stayed with friends for several weeks. Then my mother asked to talk to both of us because she found out we had plans of getting married civilly. She did not approve since she believed civil marriages were not "real" marriages. She wanted a Church wedding. We explained that we opted to have a civil wedding first then have a Church wedding once we had enough money. It was not a good reason for her. She did not want me to marry him. My dad agreed with her. So, she asked me to return home and to pretend that it’s over between Darwin and I just to let my dad's anger simmer down. We complied hoping things would change but to no avail.

I found it so hard to go home to our house as the days went by. Eventually, I went home less and less until finally ,we started living together with his family. This was not known to my parents. Later on my mom found out when a friend of hers, living in the same area told her that she often sees my car parked in my boyfriend's driveway. My mom confronted me, so I told her the truth. A truth we kept secret from my dad.

After awhile, there came a time I grew uncomfortable with us living together with his family without the blessing of marriage. So I asked him if we could find a place of our own, which we eventually did. We lived together for more than 6 months and I was relatively happy even though there were some rough times. We had to adjust to each other somehow.

My mom would plead with me to go home but I would not agree. She told me my dad was really getting very mad and was starting to make threats. She was afraid for herself and for me. She wanted me to go abroad and stay there. I did not want to. I was ready to give up everything I had, for a chance to live my life with the person I really loved. Still my mom pleaded, she said my sister was really getting affected to and that my parents' marriage was starting to break. Eventually, I went home for the sake of my mom and my sister.

I still am living at home with my parents but I find it very difficult to go home everyday. My father has not yet spoken to me since this has happened. I have tried everything to close the gap but he just won't budge. I have grown very depressed and frustrated with my life. I still see Darwin but we have decided to just be friends. I thought things would be different. In a way it is but not for me. My parents may be happy but I am not. I long for the happiness I once had.

You cannot imagine the hurt and pain I have in my heart. My mom and dad and brother have told me that if our family breaks up, I will be the one to blame. My mom blames me for putting my adopted sister through all of this. My brother has said that if anything happens to our parents, I will be to blame. Basically, I am the one they are blaming for everything that has happened.

Sometimes, I cry alone wishing I could just let go. Maybe things will be better for everyone if I just get out of the picture, since I'm the one they say is the problem. I have stopped hoping that I will someday find the happiness that I long for. I have stopped believing in dreams or wishes, since they never come true. I am trying to live each day as it comes. It isn't easy. I guess happiness isn't something meant for me. Only time will tell how much longer I can go on like this. My depression is really getting worse each day. How long will I go on giving in to my parents? Why can't they see what I see? Why can't they feel what I feel? I'm not a child but an adult. When do I start living my own life? Do I always have to accept everything they say even if it does not apply to the present times? Should I always be the one to understand them just because I'm the daughter and they are the parents? Shouldn't they try to understand me, too? Or am I wrong about everything?

Thanks for your time. All I really needed was someone who would listen. I guess you've done me a big favor. More power!

Sincerely yours

Cherrie


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Joes Notes

Cherrie,


Cherrie, I have been through the same boat as Darwin when I was still courting my wife. Somehow, I just could not find enough sensible reasons why parents need to meddle into the children’s personal affairs , control their lives and unfairly judge the people they choose to be with. But now that I am a father to four daughters and have grown to understand why.


Parents would only want the best for their children. That is one general fact that we cannot contest. It is true to a certain extent but when our parents go beyond the line of privacy and selfishly impose their rules, then their actions begin to contradict their verbalized intentions. Your are already twenty eight and your not getting younger. I believe that you have spent a great deal of that 28 years trying make your parents happy. You have become the professional that they wanted you to be and you have tried your best to be a good daughter to them even if it meant sacrifice and self-denial . Honestly, Cherrie, you have done enough. Your parents have fulfilled their obligation to bring you up and give you a good education. Beyond that is your life that you are supposed to live not under their control but only with their mature and loving guidance.

I know how difficult it is to choose. But you don’t have to. If your family breaks up then that is their choice, not your fault. Forcing you to make a choice between what will make you happy and what will make them happy is plain selfishness . We have to show our parents utmost respect but that has to be earned. It is something that cannot be demanded of us. It is something that they have to teach us by their own examples of respect and discerning restraint.

Cherrie, staying with Darwin outside marriage was never a good idea. You should know that by now. That was something that you should have never done . But it’s never too late to start over again and set straight the crooked path you blindly trekked. You have to start living your life now outside the place you used to call home . You have to build your own with someone you truly love.

Cherrie, go where your heart leads you and pray that it leads you to where God intends you to be. Find your happiness and be at peace with yourself. You parents may want someone else for you but marrying someone you don’t love will just make you feel sorry all your life . Money without love is how we spell misery. It is only with little money and a lot of love that we can truly be happy. Don’t stop wishing . Don’t stop dreaming. One day, Cherie ,in God’s own time, he will show you the way to your heart and there you’ll find true love, joy and happiness that will last you your lifetime.

Joe


***

Jul 19, 2008

Handgun Everywhere

Jul 18, 2008

Jul 9, 2008

THE HAMMER RULER



HAVE YOU HEARED ABOUT IT LATELY?

Jul 8, 2008

Cyber Relationship

Jun 29, 2008

owning a gun

Jun 24, 2008

GOOD TIME BOY

This will serve as a lesson for the "unfaithful" boyfriends / husband

Dear Joe,

It may be pretty weird to hear from a guy but my story would prove that I have no one else to turn to.


For a bit of a background, I’m 19 years old and a 3rd year college student in Manila. although my father's hardware business gives just enough to support my younger sister's and my own studies, I work part time in a fastfood restaurant to help with the household expenses and for me to have some money I can call my own.

I have a barkada of 8 members whom I've been with since my freshman days. My closest friend in our group also works in the same fastfood. Although I don't want to put the blame on my barkada, it was with them that my problem started.

We went out on the night of my 18th birthday. As a birthday gift, the guys chipped in to "buy" me a girl. Although it was against my personal convictions, I accepted the "gift" so I won't embarrass my friends and so that they would stop teasing me as gay. Besides, the beer made me think, "What the heck? It's my birthday and it wouldn't hurt to be brave once in a while." To add more to the dare to sleep with a prostitute, I was not able to use protection.

I had fun on my birthday until the real problem showed up a few days later. It started when it felt painful just to take a leak. I tried to ignore this at first thinking that there was too much salt in my diet. But it got worse when an unusual discharge came out. This got me worried enough to consult a close friend. He gave me some antibiotics. It helped for a while but the pain came back after 2 weeks. Right now, I'm still suffering with the discomfort but I’ve more or less learned to live with it. I'm afraid to go to a doctor since the medicines and check-up might be too expensive for me. I find it difficult to ask money from my parents since I am more or less independent by now and they will ask why I need the money. It's really embarrassing to tell this sort of thing to them. And I've always tried my best not to give them any trouble.

Also, I still don't know how to tell all of this to my girlfriend. She doesn't know about my sickness and I haven't told her about what really happened during my birthday. She can sense that something is wrong. But whenever she tries to find out what's troubling me, I simply turn away. Our relationship is getting cold and uneasy. But to confess all of this bothers me everytime we're together. I know its wrong to hide this from her. I know that it's my fault that we're in a cold war. But I'm still afraid of what will happen after I reveal this. I don't want to lose her and her forgiveness means everything to me. For the year that we've been together, I respected her decision not to have sex but with my kind of sickness, will I be able to infect her?


Even my studies are starting to suffer. I'm now usually late for most of my classes and some, I just skip. It gets difficult to focus on one thing- even at work. My mom is starting to notice all this. I just tell her I've got a lot on my mind. This reaction is not normal coming from me because I'm very close with my mom. I want to ask her for help but I don't know how she'll take this. I don't want to make her worry. I don't want her to get involved with my problem as much as possible. I still want to prove that I’m a responsible person.


I had no idea how one little secret sickness can cause so much trouble. Even if I try to hide the pain that I’m feeling, it hurts the people I love in its own way. My barkada calls me the "goodtime boy". I may be very popular with my friends but this ego trip doesn't mean anything anymore compared to what I'm personally going through.

I can't hide this sickness anymore, Joe. How do I tell my girlfriend? My mom? Do you know any place I can go to that specializes in treating my sort of ailment? I'm desperate and I want to bring things as they were before.

Joe, thank you for taking the time to read my letter. I do hope many would learn from what have shared with you. I'm learning my lesson as I speak and I hope God is listening. This seems to be to much for me to bear .Thank you once again and best regards.


Bradley


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Joes Notes


Bradley,


There will come a point in our lives when God will make us realize that our actions based on our disregard of moral convictions and our deliberate surrender to our lustful desires will always have consequences which we have to face and be responsible for.

First and foremost, declining to your barkada’s offer wouldn’t have made you less of a man. There are a hundred and one ways to have fun on our birthdays. Do you think you have thanked God for giving you another year of life by sleeping with a prostitute ? Bradley, a brave man is not always the one who can dare to take the challenge of others but the one who can firmly say no and stand for his convictions and fight for what he believes is right.


Neither myself nor any other man can claim that he is righteously clean . Bradley, we all are guilty of giving in to our desires and fall into sin. But ,I honestly believe that God has a divine purpose for sex. It should not be sold for money nor should it be enjoyed casually. AIDS, Herpes, Gonorrhea, and other sexually transmitted diseases should all serve as reminders that sex should only be confined to just one partner and only within the bounds of marriage. This may raise the brows of many who would try to justify their actions but this is the truth and the only truth.

Bradley you know the consequences of sleeping with a stranger without any protection. A lot of us know as well. You have fallen once and you have been unlucky . Yes , there is a possibility that you may infect your girlfriend or anyone for that matter with your disease when you become sexually intimate with them .
Whatever it is that infected you needs to be checked , diagnosed and treated before it gets worst. The information here will be of great help not only to you but to many who are in a similar situation.


For those who want to do research on Reproductive Health , Sexuality, HIV and STD’s you may call the AIDS HOTLINE library at 524-4831 and look for Lisa. For counselling regarding the above mentioned topics you may call 524-4507, 524-4427 and 542-0551. All the calls are treated with confidentiality and only the age and area from where you are calling and not the names are not asked . You may call their clinic for an appointment at 252-2874 for a reasonable consultation fee and they may further refer you to the Department of Health for free consultation.

Bradley , I hope this is not a serious case. With newly developed medicines, a minor infection will only take several days to cure. Do not self- medicate for you may prolong or worsen your condition with the wrong medicines. You have to deal with this first. Once you are on your way to recovery ,you’ll feel a lot better. Then, you may opt to spare your mom from worrying about you and your condition. But when the need arises, our mothers are probably the best friend and counselor we could ever have. They have risked their lives when they brought us to this world and they would never hesitate to risk that again just to protect and save us from harm.

Bradley, to tell or not to tell your girlfriend about this solely depends on you. People have different views on honesty in relationships. Knowing the truth even if it hurts doesn’t work on all relationships and keeping secrets for a long time sometimes does harm as well. If you tell your girlfriend , it may probably be like saying goodbye .Or it could also be a lesson that will make a stronger bond. If you don’t tell her , then your relationship will be back to normal as if nothing happened but then there might that feeling of guilt that will silently haunt you and make you feel uneasy. It is your call, Bradley. What is important now is to seek medical attention and hear the counsel of professionals who have dealt with even worst situations. Again the AIDS and STD’s HOTLINES are 524-0551 524 4507 and 524 4427. The Clinic’s number is 252-2874 and the Aids Hotline Library is 524-4831.

I hope Bradley’s story has sunk important lessons into our minds. Choose to be good than to be called a “good-time boy”. When we have to deal with our barkada again and people who would lure us into doing what is against our will let us remember that saying no doesn’t mean we’re a coward , it just means that we are using our head and not our ego . Turning around doesn’t mean we’re backing out, it just means that we know where the right way is and that is where we want to be..


Joe


***

Jun 23, 2008

Citenzenship with a high Price

LOVE FOR TWO PEOPLE

Dearest Joe,

I finally found the courage to write you this letter . I know you could help me the way you helped others. I’m 23 years old, a banker and I have a steady boyfriend named John for more than three years now . We are about to get married this year. I am happy with him, we have no problems about our respective families, he is so kind and he respects me a lot. He is the ideal husband every one would dream of and in fact, anyone I know envies me for having him. I certainly know how lucky I am.

My worries started when I met Ben, a guy introduced by a friend and just a short distance away from our office. We met on last week of October and have become closer since then. We talk a lot about everything, we go out and see each other often. I know how stupid I am for doing all these but I never stopped.

Joe, it is sad that my plans of getting married and the feeling of excitement deteriorated. And I always think of Ben, I always talk about him with my best friend. I simply can’t get rid of his thoughts and I just love thinking about us. He’s so sweet and his thoughtfulness never ends which I sometimes compare with the way John does things for me. Ben knows I am about to get married and the truth is, he is married himself. We talked about this, we both know where we stand and we are aware of the risk this might cause us. He is married for almost two years now, to her girlfriend for seven years. We don’t know what made us do this, we’re not having problems with our partners as far as we know, and we simply answered we both wanted it ! We asked each other, when will this end? But, we just don’t know when and how?

To tell you honestly, Joe, I don’t want my marriage to push through this year, not because of Ben but because I’m not sure of myself. I’m being so unfair. I feel that I’m not prepared for a married life yet and it was proven when I got attracted to someone else. I now feel afraid of the responsibilities ahead of me, being a wife and soon, a mother. I’m the one having second thoughts on this and I really don’t know how to tell John about it. He really wants us to get married at the soonest possible time. The reason: he wants to be sure we’ll end up together. I don’t know when and what to say to him that this marriage is not about to happen for now ‘cause the argument will never end.

Ben and I see each other as often as we ever imagined; I just love being with him. I even wished we could be together for the rest of our lives, that I am his wife and we don’t need to let go. I can’t afford to hurt Ben which proves how strongly I feel for him. I never thought this would happen, I never imagined I’d still have second thoughts on marrying John.

I certainly know what all your listeners are saying at this very moment, that I am so unfair, selfish, stupid and I deserve all the pain this would cause me and worst I might end up alone. But still, it never stopped me ‘cause I already told that to myself and I am prepared for whatever punishment this awaits me. Once in this relationship, I tried writing Ben to end everything, I even avoided him. All I was asking for was not to see nor hear from him but he ignored that. I lose that chance.

Joe, I think about it all the time and makes me feel so very tired. Where we stand, where to go, what will happen next and when to end?

One thing I’m sure about, I was never worried when I am with Ben. I can never explain the happiness I feel when I’m with him. And only if we found each other not committed, I know we’ll end up together and I will never be afraid of losing him. I know that even if we lose each other eventually, because he was never mine and never will be, my feelings for him will still be the same, that I will still love him until the end.

Thank you for reading my letter and more power to your program…

Sam


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Joes Notes


Dear Sam,

Sometimes we ask ourselves why do we meet the right people at the wrong time and why do we fall for them for the wrong reasons? Why do we have to fall out of love and hurt not only ourselves but also those who have learned to care for us?

These are questions we probably will never find answers to. Sam, every relationship would have to be put to the test for this is the only way to strengthen its foundations . Unfortunately , those who have built their roots on shallow grounds crumble and fall down. They realize that they probably have never loved their partners enough to be able to hold on or maybe they were just are too weak to resist the tempting lure of illicit affairs.

More often than not, people who indulge themselves in actions that will be detrimental to their relationships are people who couldn’t care more about how others would feel. They are people who are passionately and romantically blinded by their emotions and selfishly seek out to find their own satisfaction and happiness at the expense of other’s misery.

Sam, there are married men who would jump at the opportunity of having and affair with women who willingly submit themselves even if they know that being a mistress or a fling is the closest that they could only get to being their wives.

I know how it feels and also know that no one can blame you for what you have gotten yourself into. One thing is for sure, though. Sam, all these just means one thing. And you are right. Your wedding this year may not be such a good idea at all. Your feelings for John were tested to its limits and you have failed it. Not because you intended to, but probably because it was just destined to happen.

Sam, I see a river of tears coming. None of you would emerge happy and victorious in this triangle of emotions. You just have to be honest with John even if it means hurting him and maybe losing him forever. Try to put yourself in the place of Ben’s wife. Believe me, you’ll never find words to explain what pain means and swear you would pray that it never happens to you.

Sam, life is what we make it and love in the only thing that makes this world go round. We all fall in and out of the great cyclone of this sweeping emotion. I pray and hope that one day, you’ll find your man, win him fairly, and walk down the aisle hand in hand to where love and eternity has promised a happy ending.

Joe

***

Jun 20, 2008

Skyrocketting Prices of Gas

LOVE VS. FAMILY

Dear Joe,

Good Day! I was thinking of writing to you years back but somehow I never seem to bring myself to do it. But thanks to the internet, I can send my message to you without having to go through the hassles of the snail mail." I used to be an avid listener of your program but then my class schedule won't permit me or even give me time to listen to your show every Friday. But whenever I have time, I see to it that I don't miss your show esp. your advices which are really very enlightening. This is also the reason why I'm writing to you now.

I am 22 years old. I had my first boyfriend in 1996. I'll just call him Bobby. He was the only boyfriend I ever had. Ours was one of the "most admired and envied relationship" in school. We met during our third year in college. We didn't really hit it off the first time but there was one school activity where we found ourselves working together. This brought us closer. 10 months after, we became lovers. Whenever our friends see us, they will always mention of how happy we seem to be together, and we really were. The only problem we had then was we were an "underground couple" because my parents were not aware of him. I am Chinese and he's a Filipino. Like most traditional Chinese , the parents would never accept a Filipino into their family. But being a liberal-minded person, I disobeyed them and took the risk of loving a Filipino guy.

A year after, the first test in our relationship came and everything was not the same again. Ironically, it has a little to do with the "culture problem." Bobby belongs to a broken family. His parents separated after he graduated from high school. His mother was working as an agent in a real estate firm. When the economy crashed in 1997, his mother was not earning as much anymore and this brought bigger problems in their family. Fortunately, he had already graduated and had starting working, which makes him the "breadwinner". I admit that I belong to a well-to-do family and have never before experience what it was like to be in his situation. We always find ourselves in constant disagreement over his family's financial status because i don't approve of his sacrificing his income just to help his family. Maybe we were just brought up differently although i really sympathize with him and try to help him in any way i can. I often tell him not to always give in to his family's demands because I noticed that his family has become too dependent on him and at times, less appreciative of his efforts. He has gone to the point of sacrificing his meal allowance just so he could give money to his mother. This whole setup put a stain into our relationship. At the end of last year, we sort of broke up. Actually we were like going on and off. And just when I thought I don't love him anymore, I found out that he was going out with someone else. Technically, I consider it cheating because we never formally broke up. We don't do things the same as before but we sort of agreed that we would maintain an "MU" relationship. Upon learning of his new girlfriend, I confronted him and asked for an explanation. He told me that I was never there during the time he needed my support regarding the problem he was having with his family. And the girl was like his confidant and eventually he began to like her. Suddenly realized that I still love him. He still does, according to him, but he just can't leave her because she's the one that I never was. One very important factor was that he was warmly accepted in the girls' family. He considers himself deprived of a "real family" and that he wants to enjoy the feeling of belongingness with her family. He told me that once he feels that he has fully enjoyed it, he'll come back to me. I tried begging him to come back and leave the girl. I promise him that I would be more understanding of his situation and less demanding. I even agreed to play second fiddle. For a month, we sneaked behind his girlfriend's back. All along, i was thinking that I can still win him back and that I will fight for our love because he told me that he loves me more than her. And he is just buying time to break things up with his girlfriend. But I can only withstand it for a time. My conscience tells me it's not the right thing to do. I know that he would not leave her, at least not just yet. And I cannot bear the thought of him with the girl whenever they go out or whenver he goes to her house. At first, I thought I will eventually get used to the situation. But later on, it was already killing me. I casually asked him one night that if his girlfriend finds out about us and agrees to be the other woman (just like what I was doing)would he oblige? I was expecting him to say that he woud just go back to me but I was in for a shock. He told me that he would agree with the setup. Joe, he seems to be an entirely different person then. He was never like that before. I never had any problems with his attitude. In fact, I didn't find anything wrong in his personality. He was the most selfless kind and understanding guy I knew. It made me conclude that poverty sometimes brings out the worst in people. He has transformed from gud to worst. He was not the guy I fell in love with. At that point then, I knew I had to let him go. I really love him, in fact, very much still. I gave him my promise that I'm willing to wait, not for him, but for the old Bobby to come back. I used to believe in forever but now no good things seem to last.

I would just like to hear some good advice from you as to how I can get over him. I might never really want to because I still care for him very much. But this time, my mind has to rule over my heart. I would really appreciate it if you can respond through my e-mail since my classes are all in the evening and I wouldn't be able to hear your advice on the radio. Thank you for your time and I hope to hear from you soon. More power on your show. God Bless!!!

Sincerely yours,

Marjorie


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Joes Notes


Marjorie,

The Chinese- Filipino culture issue has burdened so many relationships quite heavily that most of them just didn’t Have enough strength to survive the pressure their families have imposed on them. But, I believe that beyond all these race and color issues, we are just one and the same. Stripped of skin, we can never tell who’s who for we will all be just the same flesh and bone.

True love never measures a man by his looks and by how much he has. What we have in this world will never buy us immortality. We will all die just as we have been born-with nothing. Once money becomes an issue in a relationship there will be friction. Unless both can agree on certain acceptable terms then this relationship may lose ground and fail.

Marjorie, you may probably never understand how it like to be poor. You have lived a life of a princess, never deprived of anything and always getting what you want when you want it. Bobby had sincere intentions in sacrificing for his family. He even denies himself of his basic needs just so he could give money to his family.

This monetary support has always been an issue in many relationships , especially marriages. We are open to the idea of extended families and havevery close ties with them. The question of who should support who becomes a favorite topic of discussion and heated arguments. This may even become the reason for an imminent break-up.

Marjorie, you have been brought up in a life different from bobby’s and you may never learn to accept his ways. But, love is a balance of giving and taking. Unless couples can compromise their differences then their relationships will never grow. Maybe , you are destined to be with someone of your own race and status. Love never works that way but sometimes, it’s the only way to take. You could either turn back from your family and let love rule your heart or sacrifice your feelings for the tradition that you are required to preserve and respect.

Marjorie, you may be waiting for someone who may never come back. Bobby probably never changed. It was just that you were the same two people who lived in two different worlds separated by immeasurable odds and timeless tradition. He found his home in someone else’s heart. I think it’s about time you search for your own. Just remember that real love should never looks at where we stand. It looks at where we are heading and finds beauty not in what we have but in what we can give.

Joe

***

Jun 19, 2008

Love

Jun 18, 2008

PRISONERS OF FEARS

Dear Joe,

I've never had a boyfriend before, nor ever had a serious relationship for that matter. Though I have a lot of acquaintances, they never seem lead to that nor had I fallen with anyone except for one person who happened to be a friend.

Joe, Gemini and I have been friends for 2 years now. And in that 2 years, Joe, I’ve been loving him silently in my heart. I was in my 4th year of college when we met. I was attending an exclusive school while he was a co-ed. I've never been very confident about myself and had only dreamed of a very fine young man. We met through a student organization where both of us were officers.

I had been very resistant to him. I purposely dealt with him in coldness for the reason that I was trying to prove to myself & others that I won't ride with the "bandwagon". Joe, he's a very good-looking Mestizo, smart, and a gentleman, characteristics that I really look for in a man.

Gemini showed a lot of support and even sent his messages with "take care" at the end of every page. It was something that I failed to recognize. He liked consoling me with a pat or a light rub at the back. Those made me shiver inside. Only then did I come to realize I was falling. But, I turned down most of his invitations for whatever reasons I had in mind.

After some months, he announced that he was dating again. That really hurt me. I wanted to disappear in the air at that point. I never realized I had fallen deeply for him. I bare the pain by myself for I couldn't seek any consolation from my friends because they don't like him.

That was tough. I tried to keep everything to myself. However, time came when I really couldn't stand it anymore. I expressed my hurt towards him through a poem. I thought he'll not take it seriously, but he did. He was speechless. I remember him telling that he wanted us to talk the day after bec. He had something to tell also. Unfortunately, that never pushed through It has been 2 years now that I’ve been keeping him in my heart. Nothing has changed. He's still the one I admire and believe in, something that he isn't fully aware of. On the other hand, a close friend of ours told me his secret. She said that Gemini also liked me, but he wanted to just keep it that way and not even tell me. That gave a wide smile on my face. For such a long time, I never suspected that he also did like me.

At present, Gemini is no longer dating anyone seriously. He & his ex broke up sometime last month. We're talking again. However, heart matters are not discussed. It seems like both of us are trying not to touch that topic. Deep in my heart I know I’m hoping for us to have the chance to be together. But then again, if not permitted by chance, I’m glad that I have become his most trusted friend.

I only hope that I may eventually learn to let go of my feelings and put myself back and try to accept someone else. It's difficult, but I’m trying my very best. I hope one day I’ll just wake up and realize that I’m totally over him.

Thank you very much for entertaining my letter. Someday, I know I’ll have the chance to express this feeling to him through a song. I know I can and I hope the message gets through.

Thank you so much for the time.

Sincerely,

Khay


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Joes Notes


Dear Khay,

I honestly think that it’s about time for you and Gemini to stop tormenting yourselves and start getting real. You are hoping that, one day, you’ll get totally over him and go on with your life but deep inside, your heart is crying out for the opposite.

Khay, Gemini probably treasures your friendship so much that he just kept his feeling to himself for the fear of losing you. He was already silently trying to tell you he cares but you were never too sensitive to read between his lines and understand the look in his eyes. Now that you are sure that he really feels something for you , what else is keeping you aback? Your destiny is in your hands. If you don’t act now, you might lose your chance of knowing how it feels like to really love someone and express it without any fear.

If he is afraid to talk about love then you have to take the lead in discussing about feelings that matter in a relationship. Remember, not all men can courageously disclose their emotions. They feel that if they carelessly do, they would be like an open fortress, vulnerable to attack. We are also afraid of rejection. This is a fear that sometimes stems out from feelings of insecurity and lack of self confidence. Khay, you are the only one who might be able to help him overcome his apprehensions. Help him help himself and when he knocks at your door, welcome him with the warmth of the love that you have long been wanting to express , then , pray that something beautiful may come out of it.

In many instances, we too, become like Khay and Gemini — prisoners of our own fears. Let us not be insensitive to the signals others are sending us. They are vivid signs of what could lie ahead and forewarn us of danger or give us a glimpse of hope that we are on the right tracks of our lives. Let us try to listen to what they don’t say for sometimes there is more meaning to what they keep inside than what comes out of their lips. Let us not be afraid to face our own fears for they will be lifetime crutches that will keep us from walking straight. Remember that there is no gain without pain. Khay, only when we take the chance of getting hurt can we find the road to real happiness and only when we face our fears can we find the way to the only love that will last us a lifetime.

Joe

***

Survey Says

Jun 17, 2008

Reluctant Heart

Dear Joe,
Hi! How are you? It's been a long, long time since the first time I wrote you. I'm not even sure if you will still remember me. But as far as my memory serves me right, you had my letter aired on your show April of 1994. I think i better refresh your mind by giving you the name I used on that letter. I am Michelle Santiago, now 25 years of age and presently managing my own business. I wrote again to say "thank you" for the time you gave me before and "Congratulations" for keeping up a good show. Joe, i'm seeking your advice again for all these fears i'm having right now that are locking me up in my own shell. The advice you gave on my last letter was a big help 'coz when Lawrence came back to me, i was able to handle things the way they should be. Yes,Joe, i accepted him again, gave him another chance because that's what my heart dictated. I was just being honest with my feelings that time and simply took the risk 'coz that's what love is, after all. It's simply a gamble wherein you either win or lose. And part of that game called love, is believing. So, when he left for the States last July of 1994, i believed in all his promises that he's going to come back for me after 3 or 4 years. Everybody especially my family were against our relationship 'coz they kept on saying that the time frame for long distance relationships to
survive is only 6 months for unmarried couples. Anything more than that would be a burden, a heavy crucifix i will carry on my shoulder. I chose to be deaf to all that i've been hearing and with my own effort, my faith to the Lord above and my love for Lawrence, i decided that i will prove them
wrong and that our relationship will survive all obstacles, not to mention, infidelity, 'coz it does and can happen. But everything went on smoothly with us especially on the first year that we're apart. Lawrence had promised that he's going to marry me when he comes back but it will take him 2 or 3 years to establish his citizenship before he can return. It will take me 2-3 years to wait for his return so i thought of starting to look for a job, try to save some money for our future so that it will be easier for us to start
our life together in the land of milk and honey. During that time, maybe luck was on my side 'coz in my search for greener pastures, there came the offer for me from a larger construction company in Japan. I was really happy that time 'coz i believe that in a span of 3 years of working in another country, i'll be able to save enough money, maybe more than enough to start a married life. Lawrence also agreed on the idea of me working abroad 'coz he believed that it would be of great help for both of us and our will-be children. So, i left November of '95 for a 3-year contract to work out of the country. Joe, it was really a struggle 'coz it's the first time that i've been away from my family and i don't think i'll be able to survive the loneliness of being alone and the fear of being in a place full of strangers. But i firmly held on to myself and set my mind that everything i'm doing is for me, for Lawrence and for our future. His phone calls and letters helped me survive those struggles. But it was on my 2nd year of working there that everything changed. He suddenly became cold, stopped calling and writing me. I just passed it off 'coz he told me that he's having 2 jobs that time. But everything became clear to me when he decided
April of '97 to cool it off with me. He told me that he can no longer fulfill my expectations towards him because of the pressures and demands of his jobs there. I asked him if there's another party but he said none. He said he still loves me but he needs space and time and that if we're meant for each other, no matter what, we will still meet again. I was in the lowest point of my life that time 'coz i had nowhere to turn to and i can't go back to the Phils. 'coz that would be breach of contract. I can't even seek for my family and friends' help 'coz they have been against our relationship from the start. It was at this time that i received an unexpected letter from a long, lost acquaintance here in the Phils. He was the guy who introduced himself to me while i was doing my thesis at the National Library during my 4th year in college. Let's just call him Gerry, now in his mid-30's, presently working as a newscaster, TV host and Radio commentator in one of our famous TV stations here. During our acquaintance which was 6 years ago, he asked for my number and we talked for a couple of times and then he just disappeared for no reason at all. I just shrugged it off thinking he's just one of those guys. But i learned from his letter that
he got a very demanding job, he also moved to another house, got his things jumbled-up and he got it fixed, i was gone. Maybe Gerry's letter was a real saving grace for me 'coz it was when i needed a friend the most, someone who would listen, there he came at the right time. He really extended a helping
hand across the seas. I confided in him my problems regarding Lawrence and he did all he can to give his unbiased thoughts and advices. It really made my burdens lighter when i receive letters and calls from Gerry. He really took time despite of his demanding job to write and call me to ease the pain i'm feeling that time. Lawrence was then avoiding my calls whenever i tried to call him up. I was not yet giving up on the idea that Lawrence still loves me and that everything will go smoothly again in the future. I kept
myself believing that if there's only a chance for us to see each other, everything will be back to normal 'coz i realized that time that no matter how strong your love is to each other, physical presence really counts. It's true that "absence makes the heart grow fonder", but this is true only for short absences 'coz long absences also makes the heart forget and sometimes reluctant. But i was able to survive my 3rd year of work there with the routine of me writing and calling up Lawrence but receiving no response at
all and me and Gerry trying to create a link that connects us between the seas. It was this May of '98 that i learned from Lawrence's relatives here in the Phils. that Lawrence is planning to go home for a vacation. I was able to talk to him on the phone but he didn't tell me of his plans of vacationing in the Phils. I was hurt again that time 'coz i don't see any reasons why he has to hide his plans of going back to the Philippines. So, i decide to myself that i need to go home and see him 'coz now's the chance for me to clear up things between us. If he really had a change of plans, i deserve an explanation and if we're really not meant for each other, at least, i deserve a decent break-up. So, i begged for permission from my company to allow me to go home with the lie i made up that i have some medical problems. They allowed provided i'll shoulder my airfare and i had to pay some penalties because i still have 6 months to work. So, without Lawrence's knowledge and Gerry's too, i came home last 11th of May. Lawrence was already here 'coz he arrived one day earlier. I decided to see Lawrence on the 12th and true to my words, it really brought back the old feelings between the two of us. It seemed as if we've never been separated for 4 years. I thought marriage plans will push through this time but i was shocked when i learned from Lawrence's relatives that there was another girl. Lawrence's relatives want us to get married before Lawrence leaves for the States again because they don't want Lawrence to end up with that girl in the States who is actually married, has 2 kids and 34 years of age. I confronted Lawrence about it and he admitted that he loves the girl but he loves me more. I didn't buy the idea,joe and i decided not to marry him. He has left for the States last May 30 and during his departure, i made it
clear that there will be no more Michelle waiting for him and that it's better if we just both move on with our lives. It was again one of the saddest times of my life and only then did i remember to call up Gerry to break him the news that i've already arrived. He was surprised 'coz he was expecting me to come home by November. I told him what happened, the marriage plans, the other party and that i've already put an end to my relationship with Lawrence. Gerry played again the role of a best friend, adviser and a brother to me, giving words of consolation, cheering me up and making me feel i'm not alone. I could never imagine how it would be for me to go through this stage without Gerry's help. He always visits me at home, calls me up regularly and he really helped me forget my miseries. And he's starting to express his feelings towards me, saying here's here to mend my broken heart. I was beginning to like him,too, but it was then that i realized that i never knew him that well. Yes, we've been open to each other
about our moods, characters and feelings,and i've open to him,too, from the start. So i began asking him about his personal life. It was then that i knew that he comes from a very rich family, his father held a high position in the government before. And regarding his previous relationships with women, he's been involved with big stars both in showbiz and modelling world. I asked him why he's not married yet and he told me that he doesn't have any plans yet. I tried believing everything he said but i really don't know why i still have reservations and hesitations towards him. Maybe my mind can't absorb the idea that a man of such power and wealth, can fall in love with someone like me. You know,Joe, i am a very simple person with simple dreams, simple hopes and simple wishes. And you know for a fact how people in the high society live their lives and i don't want to belong there. And i've actually opened up these things to him (about the hesitations) and he told me that i shouldn't be bothered by those things because what he has shown me was the real him, with no pretentions at all. But i told him that he should have told me those things before hand but still, he defended himself saying that he doesn't want those things to be my
basis in deciding what our relationship will be in the future. He said that if i don't want him, it's only because i don't have that special feeling and need towards him and not because he's a man of power and wealth. Maybe he's right after all, maybe it's like entering a house thru the backdoor. I know i'm beginning to fall for Gerry 'coz of all the men who's courting me, it's only towards Gerry that i've felt this kind of feeling of longingness. The last time i've felt this feeling was towards Lawrence and i am starting to feel it towards Gerry,too. I have never been involved with any other guy since Lawrence left for the States for the first time and even when i was out of the country, i was able to survive the temptations. And when i became aware of my feelings towards Gerry, i also realized that i was not in love with Lawrence anymore. Maybe all i needed was to feel that same feeling again to be able to realize that i wasn't in love with Lawrence anymore. Guess it's true after all, that to forget a lost love, you must get another love. And i'm really thankful that with Gerry's help, i was able to let go of Lawrence. Gerry knows all the hardships i've been through with Lawrence, the abandonment when i got pregnant, the sacrifices i've made for Lawrence, and all the pains that i've been through but he said he's willing to help me go through and forget these traumas. I'd be untrue to myself if i'll say that i did not believe what he said, but i still don't feel that assurance. No matter how he tries to convince me of his feelings and intentions towards me, i still have these hidden reservations. Joe, i really tried to give him the benefit of my unbiased doubts but there's always something inside me that tells me there's something about him that i should know. So, i decided to discover by myself about things which i'm not even sure what. To make the long story short, i tried finding out one of his nephew's telephone number, succeeded in befriending him without his nephew's knowledge that i know his Uncle so well. It was then that i found out that he's been married for six years. His nephew told me that his Uncle's marriage is now on the rocks 'coz Gerry's wife can't bear a child but that doesn't justify Gerry's reason for looking for another girl and for wanting to have a child with me. Yes,Joe, he wants to have a child with me and i must admit i'm beginning to give in to that idea and it's a good thing that i followed my instincts first. But why me, Joe? I can't find the right words to describe how i'm hurting right now not only because of the deception but because i've trusted Gerry so much and his one of the few persons who knows how much i've been hurt before and he's the last person i've expected to hurt me. Joe, why are all these things happening to me? I feel so alone right now. I really feel like i'm going to give up. I don't even know now if i'll be able to trust and love somebody again after all i've been through. Right now, i'm trying to go through all
of these by myself, every night has been a sleepless night for me. Gerry doesn't even know that i've known his secret 'coz i've been avoiding his call 'coz i really don't know how to tell him without breaking down. Joe, please help me. All i ever wanted is a simple relationship with a simple guy. Why am i being deprived of these? I know there is a light for those who patiently search, and i'm asking you to help me see this light.
Again, thank you for your time.
More power to your show and God Bless!



Joes Notes
Dear Michelle,

There comes a moment in our lives when we feel so alone. Times when there seems to be no one we could turn to, no shoulder to lay our heads upon. Michelle, we will go through the lowest and most depressing times of our lives. Love that should have helped us get by turns out the very same emotion that will bring us down to our bare senses.

You have held on so strongly to a feeling that you hoped will last you your lifetime but just as when you thought you’re going to have it all, love suddenly decided to leave you. I have had my own share of a long distance affair. And I was one of those blessed to have found love again. But, many others have not been so lucky. For a handful of reasons, I would still have my reservations in getting into the same boat again. If There could be a sensible and practical alternative, I would rather have love within reach than let it be taken away by distance and time.

Michelle, Laurence never wanted to hurt you but he was tempted to get into a relationship outside your knowledge because his love for you was overpowered by his own needs. We all could make up an acceptable justification for the wrong we do but what is wrong cannot be right and hurting others for our own gain doesn’t come close to the definition of what love really is. You cannot blame him for giving up. He was just human., like all of us, capable of making mistakes and hurting even those we love. Let him live his own life and get on with yours.

Like rain from heaven on a dry desert, Gerry came and brought color back in your dull and bitter world. But this knight in shining armor turned out to be a thief in the night. He was dressed in royalty but most of what he truly s lie hidden in the back of his dark secrets. Michelle, like Laurence, Gerry probably never wanted to hurt you. He never told you he was married because he was afraid that would spoil his chance of being closer to you. He finally got to you but he stands a great chance of losing everything now that you found out that he was really never the Gerry that he wanted you to know. I don’t see anything wrong in telling him even if you have to break down in tears. He probably knows you have already fallen for him anyway. At least you have a good excuse in avoiding him. I’m sure you would never want to get in the way of an ailing marriage and become the reason for its fall. Again you just have to let him live his own life and get on with yours.

Now, you’re all by yourself, longing for answer, drifting in loneliness and hurting in love. The light at the end of the tunnel may not appear as soon as you want it but you just have to believe that it will. Whatever it is that happens in our lives happen for a purpose. Even if the whole world has fallen on us, God will never forsake us. He will never leave us even if everyone is hurrying for his own way out. You have met men who have changed your life. Who you haven’t met is the man who will be your life. Believe me, he is out there, just like you, waiting for his chance. Don’t let pain stop you from moving on. Forgive Laurence and Gerry for all that they have done to hurt you and pray for their happiness as well. Only when you give your heart this chance you will find peace, love and happiness in your own God-given time.
Joe
***

Jun 13, 2008

My sister!


this is my sister! isnt she beautiful? yes of course it runs in the blood! hahahaha. Would you believe she is just 13 years old. but i think she will be taller than me after 2 years.

Jun 11, 2008

I lost them all

waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa i lost some of the widgets.... and also the links... pls leave your links links and i add it back.... leave your name and the url on the comment section

Jun 10, 2008

The look of the year

Do you have that head turning looks? Do you have all the qualities to be a model? Then try your luck! join the Look Of The Year are they are looking for people from all over the world. Just send your best pictures so use this chance to be the next model working in Paris, New York or Milan. Join Look of the Year today and start your new life together with beautiful people from all over the world.




http://www.bloggerwave.com/blog_ClickTrack.php?OpportunityId=56&BlogId=14029&LinkId=0

Bloggerwave

Hi! today i signed up for bloggerwave at www.bloggerwave.com . I found out that its based in Europe and its the biggest advertising media on blogs. I would try my luck on this.


Wanna try yours too?

ROCKY ROAD TO MARRIAGE

Dear Joe,
Just call me Glenn. I am working as a network engineer in one of the biggest petroleum companies in the Philippines. I became involved with a co-worker of mine, her name is Julie. Back then she had a boyfriend, and his name is Ted. But it appears their relationship was not going anywhere because she is not particularly proud of him, due to the fact that Ted is lazy and unambitious.
Julie and I started off as friends, and I became her confidante whenever she feels she needs to talk to someone about her disappointment with her boyfriend. She kept telling me that she would be the happiest girl in the world if Ted could be even half as hard-working as I am. I on the other hand also found her quite admirable. A product of an unwanted pregnancy, Julie refused to buckle to the pressure of being the only child of an unwed mother. She had to work hard just to get herself through high school and college. And now Julie has to work even doubly hard because aside from her mother, she's also supporting her uncles and their children.
This mutual admiration led to the two of us drawing closer to each other, until one night while prepping up for a project at my place, Julie and I were carried away by our growing feelings for each other. I was delighted to discover that I was her "first." Since then the two of us started a relationship unknown to Ted. They still continue on with theirs, though. I'm not the type of guy who would willingly share a girl with another man, but since Julie persistenly refused to break up with him, I thought I just had to settle with what I have in the meantime.
Then one day Julie learned that Ted had been cheating on her. She was so mad at him that she finally broke up the relationship, obviously to my advantage. But since then another facet of her personality started to manifest: Julie is extremely insecure. Most of the times she would nag me about other girls that I come in contact with at work and in my social life. The smallest of things have triggered nasty confrontations, since I am also not particularly tolerant to her tantrums. Julie is particularly jealous about a girl co-worker of ours, whom she knows I used to like a lot before we started our relationship.
All of these contributed to what turned out ot be an on-and-off relationship. Most of the times we're ok. Whenever we're not fighting, Julie is actually the sweetest, most thoughtful, caring and affectionate woman in the world. But whenever we fight, she turns into vicious tiger, a trait that I found so hard to accept.
Soon Julie was already asking me when are we going to get married. I wasn't able to give her a straight answer since, to be honest, I wasn't ready yet during that time. I know that I love her, but there are some things with myself and my career that I need to settle first before tying the knots.
But I do love my girlfriend. So I told Julie that we'll start the wedding preparations as soon as I complete a six month long overseas project that I have. She was clearly disappointed. She said a lot could happen in six months -- her insecurity getting the better of her again. Also, Julie doesn't want to go though the usual preparations of a formal church ceremony, and instead wanted a quick civil wedding -- to which I am strongly opposed. Almost two months later, just before I left, Julie was already breaking up with me. When I asked her why, she said it's because she accepted Ted's marriage proposal, though she empasized that she still loves me more than him.
I was shocked at the fact that it was so easy for her to just turn her back on me and decide to marry her ex-boyfriend just because I'm not ready for marriage yet. I felt like all those three years we spent with each other are about to go down the drain, and she didn't seem to care about all that time. That's when I realized that I loved her too much to just let her go without a fight.
The day after she told me of her plans of marrying Ted, I immediately rushed to the jewelry store to buy an engagement ring. But when I gave her the ring, she just broke down and cried. And it's not because of happiness. I was shocked beyond words when Julie told me that she's a month pregnant, and Ted is the father of the baby.
By the time you read this letter Julie and Ted would probably be married already. It took a great deal of courage but finally I have come to accept the reality that I have lost her. At first I can't understand what happened. When we were together, Julie was so passionate with her feelings for me. For three years, even though we fought a lot, it's like it's us against the world. Now whenever I look back at what happened, I can't seem to find the Julie that I came to know and love. It's like she turned into a completely different person.
Somebody once told me that Julie was never really in love with me. Rather, she was in love with my potential as a husband. If it's true, then I guess I wasted all those years loving a woman who's sole objective in life is to get married, regardless of who it is she's marrying. If I had known, I wouldn't have exerted all that effort trouble shooting a turbulent relationship. I have since learned to accept what happened, but sometimes I stop and think about Julie. I guess I still miss her. She is after all the woman that I loved the most.
Joe, thank you for this opportunity for me to share my experience with you. I wish you all the best, and also to your colleagues. God bless.
Sincerely
Glenn
Joes Notes
Dear Glenn,
Sometimes it is so difficult to understand why people act the way they do. Our attitude and outlook in life are products of all our past experiences, good and bad, complexly intertwined in a way that make up for who we are.
Julie came from a broken family and this probably explains why she wanted to constantly feel secured in her relationships. She considered marriage as the perfect bond, the ultimate guarantee that she’ll have his man forever. Unfortunately, not all marriages end happily. There are couples who break apart and never reconcile their differences.
The thought of being away from you for six months gave Julie the shivers. She wanted to settle for a civil wedding so she could have peace of mind but you knew that was being too hasty. This, I believe was the turning point of your relationship. The event that has put it to its ultimate test. She misinterpreted your decision which gave her enough good reason to rekindle an old flame. Unluckily, this flame raged into a wild fire when she intimately found herself back in the arms of the man she once loved. She suddenly found herself in the situation her mother was in the day she unexpectedly found out that she was pregnant. She didn’t want to see another child growing up without a father so she opted for the only solution in sight--marriage.
It may not be a wise decision but she seems to have been left with no choice at all. She may have loved you but she wanted to be fair, too. She didn’t want you to answer for something you were not responsible for.
I know how hard it is to lose someone we love. But, sometimes we just can’t have it all. The bitter-sweet years you’ve shared with Julie ware probably, not in any way, a preparation for marriage. She must have seen in you and the ability to provide her the security she’s wanted in life. But, a part of her still belonged to Ted. The feelings that remained dormant were shaken by circumstance, brought back to life and came home to where it truly belonged.
Glen, you are bitter because you have given so much only to lose what you wanted to keep forever. I you really love Julie then pray that she may find happiness and fulfillment in the arms of Ted. Do not be sorry for the years you thought you have wasted for these were filled with moments you’ve shared with someone you love in a relationship you believed in. As it has always been said, we should embrace love as it comes knocking at our doors and willingly let go when it says goodbye. We shouldn’t regret that we have lost it but be thankful that for once in our lives it has dwelled in our hearts and made us happy.
Joe
***

Jun 9, 2008

SEPARATE LIVES

Dear Joe,
I long wanted to consult you this problem. Long before it started. As far as I remember I tried to convey this through "snail-mail."Anyway, this is all about me and the lady whom I’m uncertain with my feelings whom we can call "Gellie."
We met during the second semester of 1990. While I was waiting for the next conference of the student movement. Back then, I was the head of the propaganda bureau of our organization. She kept on smiling at me. As if we already met before. Ironically, I was ashamed to get near her. Since she had head-turning looks. On the contrary, I was not, I was in a wheelchair. But, I didn’t allow my disability to hamper my dreams and aspirations. As I stared and stared at her. I don’t know what happened next. I felt I was being hypnotized.
On the other hand, I enamored politics the way she hated it. That’s why, I sacrificed my political lifestyle only to soothe her whims. In fact, I provided her with shoulders to cry on, during her troubled times. Call it absurdity, but, whenever we had a misunderstanding I was the first one to apologize. Even though, I knew it was her fault. That was how crazy I was. I felt there was magic whenever we were together. There was so much happiness. A feeling not even Webster can describe. We ate lunch together, went to the park, the carnival, watched concerts and movies. Since I came from a well-off family I managed to do those things. On the other side, I never took advantage, even though I can with a snap of a finger. As a matter of fact, she used to spend the night with me and my family. We were like sweethearts, then. Our family were already close. That everybody, including myself, of course, were expecting for the long table.
As my only asset, I did her paper works; research, case studies, only to be close to her most of the time. It really paid-off. Because being with her was a feeling of cradlesong. A moment that I always cherished. Our relationship was not a typical bed of roses, it also had its jagged moments. This occurred when she started avoiding me. Well, obviously, I didn’t took this case sitting down, figuratively speaking. I demanded reasons from her. I kept asking her and myself "why?" She only gave empty and silent answers. In exchange of my loyalty. She turned into an infidel. At times I waited for her the whole day in front of our library; the place we used to meet. But then not even her shadow would show up. Although, I have been hearing rumors she’s been hanging around with some guys indulging in fraternity activities. Honestly, I felt skeptical about the issue, I was thinking those rumors were meant to destroy our "sweet" relationship. At this point, all the sweetness began to fade, bit by bit. It was in 1992, whenthe entire student movement entered into a tremenduous turning point. She was slowly detaching herself, on the one hand. And an organization; which I offered my life was standing on a shaking ground. Being one of the pioneer in our organization, I tried to intervene to settle whatever dispute there was.
At that time, I saw myself running in circles and nowhere to go. I had sleepless nights and lost my appetite and felt sickly. I was pondering where have I gone wrong. Frankly, I even blamed God. I saw myself drifting into emptiness. Soon I woke up from a deep somber. I saw that I was left without nothing. I had failing academic remarks. How I regret the day this all started? How I wish I could turn back the clock and rectify my foolishness.
Ironically, I tried to forget her. Although time really heals wounds of yesterday. I just couldn’t remove the jovial times we spent. As my psychiatrist advised me all I could do is live by the happy times we shared. From the ashes I tried to rebuild myself. I finished my Bachelor’s Degree in Political Science and successfully established my own computer centre here in Fairview.
Presently, she’s coming back once again. But she’s never the same as before. She got pregnant with someone she’s not close with. Essentially, I won’t be honest to say that my feeling already died down. Partially, my trust and confidence is being tested. As of now, whenever she visits me, the feeling still burns. Indeed, I couldn’t shoved her when she visits. And no matter how I try? I just couldn’t resist her charm. Currently, I cannot tell anybody about this situation I am undertaking. I know I was tormented before. My mind tells me to avoid her. But, my heart pounds her back to me. Today, I can feel for myself, I’ve changed whenever I would approach her. I am no longer the meek-disciplined radical. As of now, whenever she’s around I would wrap her aggressively around my arms and boldly manifest my feelings. On her part, she wouldn’t even resist.
Joe, I know you’re the only one whom I can turn to. Please enlighten me on this matter. Good luck and thank you for sparing time in reading my mail. God bless!

Dodit


Joes Notes

Dear Dodit,
It is an undeniable fact that you are still madly attracted to Gellie. She may have had a child out of wedlock but that doesn’t really matter, does it?. Nothing has changed with the way you feel for her even her past was tainted dark with many unpleasant experiences .
Dodit , you have to be true to yourself. I don’t see any reason why you have to torment yourself by repressing your feelings for her. She may have made mistakes in her life but that doesn’t mean that she cannot have another chance.
I believe that you have to go beyond your silent expressions of affection , sit down and listen to what you have long wanted to say. If you can aggressively wrap your arms around her and she would not resist, I assume that both of you can openly talk about your feelings for each other without any hesitation and reservation.
Only when you know where you stand can you decide on the next best step to take. Dodit , many may say that you’re better off looking for someone who’s single and free but if you know deep in your heart that she’s the one who’s going to make you happy then there’s nothing wrong in giving yourselves a second chance. If she isn’t married yet and if she is making her presence felt once again then maybe , she could just be waiting for you to make the first move.
Dodit, this is your call. You can emotionally detach yourself from her completely and sacrifice your feelings or you can work on a promising chance of being together again. If you can learn to accept her for all that she is and for all that she has now then you can rekindle all that has died out and breath a new life to your relationship.
Let us all remember that it is always better to have tried and failed than not to have tried and lived the rest of our lives regretting the chances we’ve missed and wondering what could have been if only we have listened to the silent cries of our hearts.
Joe
***