Jun 23, 2008


Dearest Joe,

I finally found the courage to write you this letter . I know you could help me the way you helped others. I’m 23 years old, a banker and I have a steady boyfriend named John for more than three years now . We are about to get married this year. I am happy with him, we have no problems about our respective families, he is so kind and he respects me a lot. He is the ideal husband every one would dream of and in fact, anyone I know envies me for having him. I certainly know how lucky I am.

My worries started when I met Ben, a guy introduced by a friend and just a short distance away from our office. We met on last week of October and have become closer since then. We talk a lot about everything, we go out and see each other often. I know how stupid I am for doing all these but I never stopped.

Joe, it is sad that my plans of getting married and the feeling of excitement deteriorated. And I always think of Ben, I always talk about him with my best friend. I simply can’t get rid of his thoughts and I just love thinking about us. He’s so sweet and his thoughtfulness never ends which I sometimes compare with the way John does things for me. Ben knows I am about to get married and the truth is, he is married himself. We talked about this, we both know where we stand and we are aware of the risk this might cause us. He is married for almost two years now, to her girlfriend for seven years. We don’t know what made us do this, we’re not having problems with our partners as far as we know, and we simply answered we both wanted it ! We asked each other, when will this end? But, we just don’t know when and how?

To tell you honestly, Joe, I don’t want my marriage to push through this year, not because of Ben but because I’m not sure of myself. I’m being so unfair. I feel that I’m not prepared for a married life yet and it was proven when I got attracted to someone else. I now feel afraid of the responsibilities ahead of me, being a wife and soon, a mother. I’m the one having second thoughts on this and I really don’t know how to tell John about it. He really wants us to get married at the soonest possible time. The reason: he wants to be sure we’ll end up together. I don’t know when and what to say to him that this marriage is not about to happen for now ‘cause the argument will never end.

Ben and I see each other as often as we ever imagined; I just love being with him. I even wished we could be together for the rest of our lives, that I am his wife and we don’t need to let go. I can’t afford to hurt Ben which proves how strongly I feel for him. I never thought this would happen, I never imagined I’d still have second thoughts on marrying John.

I certainly know what all your listeners are saying at this very moment, that I am so unfair, selfish, stupid and I deserve all the pain this would cause me and worst I might end up alone. But still, it never stopped me ‘cause I already told that to myself and I am prepared for whatever punishment this awaits me. Once in this relationship, I tried writing Ben to end everything, I even avoided him. All I was asking for was not to see nor hear from him but he ignored that. I lose that chance.

Joe, I think about it all the time and makes me feel so very tired. Where we stand, where to go, what will happen next and when to end?

One thing I’m sure about, I was never worried when I am with Ben. I can never explain the happiness I feel when I’m with him. And only if we found each other not committed, I know we’ll end up together and I will never be afraid of losing him. I know that even if we lose each other eventually, because he was never mine and never will be, my feelings for him will still be the same, that I will still love him until the end.

Thank you for reading my letter and more power to your program…



Joes Notes

Dear Sam,

Sometimes we ask ourselves why do we meet the right people at the wrong time and why do we fall for them for the wrong reasons? Why do we have to fall out of love and hurt not only ourselves but also those who have learned to care for us?

These are questions we probably will never find answers to. Sam, every relationship would have to be put to the test for this is the only way to strengthen its foundations . Unfortunately , those who have built their roots on shallow grounds crumble and fall down. They realize that they probably have never loved their partners enough to be able to hold on or maybe they were just are too weak to resist the tempting lure of illicit affairs.

More often than not, people who indulge themselves in actions that will be detrimental to their relationships are people who couldn’t care more about how others would feel. They are people who are passionately and romantically blinded by their emotions and selfishly seek out to find their own satisfaction and happiness at the expense of other’s misery.

Sam, there are married men who would jump at the opportunity of having and affair with women who willingly submit themselves even if they know that being a mistress or a fling is the closest that they could only get to being their wives.

I know how it feels and also know that no one can blame you for what you have gotten yourself into. One thing is for sure, though. Sam, all these just means one thing. And you are right. Your wedding this year may not be such a good idea at all. Your feelings for John were tested to its limits and you have failed it. Not because you intended to, but probably because it was just destined to happen.

Sam, I see a river of tears coming. None of you would emerge happy and victorious in this triangle of emotions. You just have to be honest with John even if it means hurting him and maybe losing him forever. Try to put yourself in the place of Ben’s wife. Believe me, you’ll never find words to explain what pain means and swear you would pray that it never happens to you.

Sam, life is what we make it and love in the only thing that makes this world go round. We all fall in and out of the great cyclone of this sweeping emotion. I pray and hope that one day, you’ll find your man, win him fairly, and walk down the aisle hand in hand to where love and eternity has promised a happy ending.