Jun 18, 2008


Dear Joe,

I've never had a boyfriend before, nor ever had a serious relationship for that matter. Though I have a lot of acquaintances, they never seem lead to that nor had I fallen with anyone except for one person who happened to be a friend.

Joe, Gemini and I have been friends for 2 years now. And in that 2 years, Joe, I’ve been loving him silently in my heart. I was in my 4th year of college when we met. I was attending an exclusive school while he was a co-ed. I've never been very confident about myself and had only dreamed of a very fine young man. We met through a student organization where both of us were officers.

I had been very resistant to him. I purposely dealt with him in coldness for the reason that I was trying to prove to myself & others that I won't ride with the "bandwagon". Joe, he's a very good-looking Mestizo, smart, and a gentleman, characteristics that I really look for in a man.

Gemini showed a lot of support and even sent his messages with "take care" at the end of every page. It was something that I failed to recognize. He liked consoling me with a pat or a light rub at the back. Those made me shiver inside. Only then did I come to realize I was falling. But, I turned down most of his invitations for whatever reasons I had in mind.

After some months, he announced that he was dating again. That really hurt me. I wanted to disappear in the air at that point. I never realized I had fallen deeply for him. I bare the pain by myself for I couldn't seek any consolation from my friends because they don't like him.

That was tough. I tried to keep everything to myself. However, time came when I really couldn't stand it anymore. I expressed my hurt towards him through a poem. I thought he'll not take it seriously, but he did. He was speechless. I remember him telling that he wanted us to talk the day after bec. He had something to tell also. Unfortunately, that never pushed through It has been 2 years now that I’ve been keeping him in my heart. Nothing has changed. He's still the one I admire and believe in, something that he isn't fully aware of. On the other hand, a close friend of ours told me his secret. She said that Gemini also liked me, but he wanted to just keep it that way and not even tell me. That gave a wide smile on my face. For such a long time, I never suspected that he also did like me.

At present, Gemini is no longer dating anyone seriously. He & his ex broke up sometime last month. We're talking again. However, heart matters are not discussed. It seems like both of us are trying not to touch that topic. Deep in my heart I know I’m hoping for us to have the chance to be together. But then again, if not permitted by chance, I’m glad that I have become his most trusted friend.

I only hope that I may eventually learn to let go of my feelings and put myself back and try to accept someone else. It's difficult, but I’m trying my very best. I hope one day I’ll just wake up and realize that I’m totally over him.

Thank you very much for entertaining my letter. Someday, I know I’ll have the chance to express this feeling to him through a song. I know I can and I hope the message gets through.

Thank you so much for the time.




Joes Notes

Dear Khay,

I honestly think that it’s about time for you and Gemini to stop tormenting yourselves and start getting real. You are hoping that, one day, you’ll get totally over him and go on with your life but deep inside, your heart is crying out for the opposite.

Khay, Gemini probably treasures your friendship so much that he just kept his feeling to himself for the fear of losing you. He was already silently trying to tell you he cares but you were never too sensitive to read between his lines and understand the look in his eyes. Now that you are sure that he really feels something for you , what else is keeping you aback? Your destiny is in your hands. If you don’t act now, you might lose your chance of knowing how it feels like to really love someone and express it without any fear.

If he is afraid to talk about love then you have to take the lead in discussing about feelings that matter in a relationship. Remember, not all men can courageously disclose their emotions. They feel that if they carelessly do, they would be like an open fortress, vulnerable to attack. We are also afraid of rejection. This is a fear that sometimes stems out from feelings of insecurity and lack of self confidence. Khay, you are the only one who might be able to help him overcome his apprehensions. Help him help himself and when he knocks at your door, welcome him with the warmth of the love that you have long been wanting to express , then , pray that something beautiful may come out of it.

In many instances, we too, become like Khay and Gemini — prisoners of our own fears. Let us not be insensitive to the signals others are sending us. They are vivid signs of what could lie ahead and forewarn us of danger or give us a glimpse of hope that we are on the right tracks of our lives. Let us try to listen to what they don’t say for sometimes there is more meaning to what they keep inside than what comes out of their lips. Let us not be afraid to face our own fears for they will be lifetime crutches that will keep us from walking straight. Remember that there is no gain without pain. Khay, only when we take the chance of getting hurt can we find the road to real happiness and only when we face our fears can we find the way to the only love that will last us a lifetime.