Jun 2, 2008


Dear Joe,

I am Darling, a fresh graduate from one of the prestigious universities in Metro Manila. I never thought that I could meet a person who would see the other side of me that other people nor even me know exists. It was a terrible thing to realize that you've fallen in love with a certain person when he had decided to get the hell out of your life. Letting go is the hard part and accepting the consequence of your mistakes is a painful torture.

Ted and I had been the best of friends for almost a year now. We've been through many things already and had helped each other several times. We've done each other's projects, attended the mass in school every 12 noon, ate lunch together, seated in each other's classes during our own vacant periods, talked for at least 3 hours consistently every day over the phone, laughed and cried together and never fought about any thing until now. He was always anxious to tell me about this girl he’s courting and I , about my unpredictable suitor, Dennis, who happens to be his block mate. It was like we were the only persons who could better understand each other. After Ted and I’s first date together, everything seemed wrong. We were not comfortable with each other anymore and it became more complicated when we went out on more dates because we ended up kissing and hugging each other. We had ignored the certainty that those things need to be settled perhaps because we both knew that it was a great risk to take. Until the time that we argued almost about anything, that was when we started talking about what was bothering us. We were blinded by the fact that we were already falling for each other. He had told me that he'd always wanted to talk to me about his feelings but there are three things that had kept him from doing it. (1) It was a shame to beat
Joseph since he knows that Joseph loves me more than his life (2) Dennis would surely hate him (3) I'll be going back to the states after my graduation.

Joseph happens to be the father of my 2-year-old daughter and one of my closest friends. We had decided to separate ways because both our families didn’t want us to be together. But, I let him see our daughter every now and then without my parent's knowledge.

I was surprised to hear Ted truthfully say these things. My heart was pounding so fast because I never really thought he also feels the same way. We'd both cried and tears were overflowing. Our hearts were full of love then and it seems that nothing in the world matters. There was still that part me that was quite unsure, so, I told him to just go with the flow because many people would get hurt if we'll push things right away. He was so eager to prove his intentions so I let him. I just cannot afford to break his heart. Whenever I was having problems with Joseph, his shoulder was always therefor me to cry on. He'll wait for me for more than 3 hours just to convince me to see him. He'll cry his heart out just to let me give him a chance to love me. He had given up his friendship with Dennis. Accepted that Joseph's still the father of my baby and that I've every right to let him see our daughter . He would bake foods, talk over the phone and play nonstop with my baby. He had even given me a pair of lovebirds . The only sign I've been asking God is that whoever will give me those would be the man to whom I would stay for the rest of my life. I was in the midst of confusion and uncertainty that was why I decided to leave things unsettled. I never thought that I was hurting more people along the way by doing that.

After a few months, Ted had decided to stop and move on with his own life because, according to him, it seems that whatever he does, he just cannot make me happy. My heart had skipped a beat, nevertheless, I let him go. It was hurting me so much so I decided to let him know by writing him several letters and giving him CDs. I'd even called him up, so, we could talk things better. He was very firm. He had told me that I was very fickle minded and perhaps I needed space to realize if it was him that I really love. I had agreed but a few days ago when I've last talked to him, I'd asked him to forget about the love thing instead work on getting things back to how it was before. He had made it clear to me that he doesn't want to talk to me anymore because the more we talk, the more he falls for me and he doesn't want that to happen again. That really hit me right in the eye, Joe. He loves me and I've told him that I also do but then he doesn't want me back anymore! I can afford to lose him as a lover but never as a best friend, but I cannot do anything . I let him go. If I had only known that things would just end up like this. Perhaps it was meant to happen this way. Life sometimes sucks, doesn’t it? I just hope that someday in the future we'll cross our paths again. I will always remember and hold back in my heart and mind what he had told me before… "If we are still single at 45, we will marry each other."

I'll be going back to the states on the 15th of February and my wish this valentine is for Ted to always keep me in his heart until we meet again.

GOD bless! Thanks and more power.

Love always,


Joes Notes

Dear Darling,

I don’t think that waiting until both you and Ted are forty-five and still single is such a practical idea. Yes, love can wait but at 45 you would have missed out so much of life already. Darling, sometimes opportunity knocks only once in our lives. Once we let it pass, it may never cross our way again. Finding someone who will love us for what we have been and what we are isn’t easy. More often than not, people put a price tag to the thing they do for us. Seldom do we find someone who can accept for all things we are, the good and the bad in us.

I think Ted has shown and proven beyond any doubt and in many concrete ways that he loves you. You were afraid to accept that love because there were still so many things in your life that you have left unfinished.

If there is nothing more than friendship that you can offer him , then I believe it is just fair to keep some distance from him because forgetting someone we love will be doubly hard if that person keeps us hanging by making his presence felt in his own ways. In this case, you just can’t bargain friendship for love. For Ted cannot be a friend without falling in love with you. You would just either have to accept that love or give him space to recover from his fall.

This valentine, we all wish that love will knock at our doors and come to live, even for a moment, in our hearts. But, not everyone would be as lucky. There are those who would find it and keep it but there will also be those who would find it yet lose it for a hundred reasons. There are those who would still be waiting, hoping that maybe they would be in luck next time it comes around.

Darling, I hope Ted is listening now so he can hear what your heart has to say. Love could just be waiting for the right reason, the right place, and the right moment. I hope you would stay in his heart so when loves comes knocking again you’d be there to open it for him. And hopefully, when that time comes, if ever it comes again, you would have settled all the accounts of the past and ready to start a new life with him--the man you are truly destined to be with forever.